With everything going on, I am honestly thankful that you are no longer in my life. I’m thankful that you no longer matter to me, and that I no longer give a shit about you. I thought that I would never be able to truly move on but to my surprise you are no longer anything but somebody from my past. I never thought that I would see the day when someone else makes me as happy as you did but here I am today happy and content with life. Johnny might not take me out, spend time with me, surprise me, quit smoking, change to be my “ideal” boyfriend like you did, but I have came to accept that you guys aren’t the same people. What matters at the end of the day is that he cares for me. I realize that life did move on with or without you. And guys out there would kill to get a chance to be with me, I just should have listened to everyone and let go of you sooner.
This isn’t gonna be those typical post where I bash on my ex because you did bring me a lot of happiness and experiences in the last 3 and a half years that we were together and have known each other. You did save me and brought me back on my feet when I thought I had no one else. I did and still do love you, but I can officially say that I’m no longer in love with you. As much as you made me happy, you also hurt me A LOT. We actually hurt each other a lot so I’m glad that we have both found someone new to make us happy again. I am thankful for the last 3 years we spent together because I learned so much about myself, life, and love because of you. As hard as our relationship was, I wouldn’t change our past by wishing that we were never together or that I never met you. I can’t picture my life without you in it because you did become such an impact to me; you actually became my life at a certain point. You were my reason to get up every morning and one of my motive to be the best person I could be.
I might not ever be able to get that same relationship that we had, but it’s okay. I have learned a lot from you and I’m gonna take that to better myself. I don’t know where life will take us, especially you with everything going on right now but at this point it’s none of my business on how your life turns out. And I’m sad to say but it has came to the point that whatever happens to you, I don’t care. I have chosen and my relationship and new life is way more important than holding onto someone that held me back from life. If it wasn’t for your mom, I would have nothing to do with you nor would I ever have to hear about you but I’m not gonna drop your family because of you especially since they’ve become such an important aspect of my life. I made my amends with you and it’s entertaining to know that you’re immature enough to block me on facebook. I was just telling you the truth, and I know how hard it is for you to take the truth so I’m honestly not surprised that you blocked me but whatevers. Just trying to help you out in not losing your family for good but I guess I should have trusted my instincts and just let you fuck your life over. But you ain’t mine and your ex family to worry about anymore :)
"Sometimes, I just have to let her win, because losing the argument is easier than losing her."
Idk how much longer I can put up with this. It’s honestly so hard for me to be with someone that I don’t spend one on one time with. I can’t handle not being able to just be with you, with no one else around. I just want to spend time with you, to be in your presences where we can be us and get to know each other. The beginning of a relationship is usually just that, getting to know each other and spend time together.
Things change so much as we got more serious. I feel like as we get more serious, the further you push me away. Idk if its me or if its cause you’re not ready to commit but as much as I like you and want us to work things out, I can’t keep pushing myself to be with someone that acts like he doesn’t want to be with me. The further I get into the relationship the further you push me away and its so hard for me emotionally and mentally.
I know we come from different worlds; you’re not used to mine and I’m not used to yours but I’m trying so hard to get used to being neglected by you and I can’t.
I don’t understand why people think that it takes a lot to impress or make me happy. I’m actually a lot more simple than people take me to be.
Relationship wise, I have never been the girl that expects much from my guy. I don’t expect those romantic and fancy dinner dates. I don’t need you to take me out to a place that will feed me over priced food that doesn’t even taste great. Although fancy dates are nice for special occasions, I don’t need that all the time. You can just take me somewhere nice for free like Signal Hills. We can just sit and be in each other’s presences. We can have a cook date where we cook together and just spend time with each other. I don’t need you to go over the top to make me happy. I’m a hopeless romantic so as long as you put some thought into it, I’m happy.
My friends and family know that I’m the type of person that will give whatever I can. I don’t ask more anything in turn but a “thank you” and some sort of appreciation. I spend countless money on my friends, my team, and family but what makes it all worth it for me is when they are truly thankful for the shit I do for them.
Most of you guys don’t know but from Monday-Thursday I was away on a cabin trip with some of my friends. I spent almost $900 and only got back $700 from my friends. I spent countless sleepless nights, I was stressed out constantly planning and dealing with everyone complaining, everytime something went wrong it was always “go to Nancy for help”, and I had to cook most of the time. What made all that effort and money worth it to me was when my son, Carlton, said thank you to me on the way home. I mean everyone else said thank you to me but his thank you meant the most to me cause I can tell he meant everything he said to me. His “thank you” was the only one that was more than just a “thank Nancy” but a “thank you mum for everything you did this week for everyone to have a good time. I know you did a lot for everyone.” That made my heart melt.
I don’t need my friends and family to repay me (even though it would be nice) I just need to know that they appreciate the hard work that I put out to make them happy.